“I can’t meditate. I hate sitting there waiting for my mind to get quiet. It never works. I know I should, but I just hate how I feel. I feel like a failure”. There. She said it. As honest as a new born baby.
She was trying so hard to do what she thought she “should” the way that she, and many of us have been told we are “supposed” to do it… just sit and be still until your mind learns to quiet.
Inside those statements are so many false expectations, it’s just silly.
I have told my clients for years, “anytime you are using words like ‘should’ and ‘supposed to’ you are living someone else’s agenda.” It is absolutely true. We don’t say, “I should go to the store” unless we really don’t feel like going. We don’t say, “I should get some work done” unless we are really not feeling motivated to do it, OR we are doing something we prefer doing to the work that needs to get done. Anyway you slice it, someone else’s agenda.
So in this case, my client and I were talking about her attempt to gain a deeper connection to her inner self and her answer to that had been sitting meditation.
So, I asked her, “What is the goal of meditation for you?”
She thought for a moment, “to calm my body and quiet my mind so I can hear my inner self.”
“Great.” I said, “Is there anything in your life that calms your body and quiets your mind?”
Again, she thought for a moment, “Hiking, kayaking, going for a walk in the park near work.”
“Perfect,” I said, “now go do those things and forget sitting on a mat sitting still.”
She laughed. “But that’s meditation! Sitting still and being peaceful inside!” Was her response.
“But it’s not WORKING!” Was my response. “Seriously, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t matter how it’s ‘supposed to be done.’”
Her Spirit spoke, “if everyone sat to meditate there would be no place to stand,” because they have a sense of humor that also is always to the point.
Spirit continued, “Doing what works for you is showing yourself true love. When you step outside of what ‘should be’ and honor yourself, you raise your vibration, you expand, you become more of the YOU that you are there to be. By finding your own pathway, you lead yourself to your greatest love. A love that fully honors YOU as a Divine Being. Be that.”
“Love yourself enough to be the YOU that you are there to be, that is all we ask,” they added.
We both sat in silence for a moment…
“Huh,” she said. “My entire life I have always been trying to fit in, trying to do it the way it ‘should be done,’ trying to get it right, and the entire time I was telling myself that my way wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t good enough.”
Same girl. Same.
Many of us in our lives have tried to fit in, to do things the way we have been told they are “supposed to be done,” only to abandon ourselves and end up feeling less than, not good enough, often just plain wrong. Who knew the whole point was to get ourselves to choose US. Our way, our truth, our version, our style, to just be US.
So, there we have it. Be YOU.
Be the YOU that you were sent here to be. Follow what works for you, take the road less traveled, the less common mindsets and beliefs, and leave the stories of less than behind.
Follow your Spirit. Forget the ‘shoulds’ and ‘supposed to’s,’ and in the process learn to give yourself the greatest love of your life.
Forever the journey, Anne