It’s been a long few weeks with no communication from my son, the Navy kid. I’ve been fine, I know he’s fine, it’s fine. Until today, I was texting with his wife and she came back with a “Btw, I haven’t had communication from Christian since February —th.”
“Me either,” I replied…and then my anxious mind went to work. By the time I was finished with three hours of multiple text messages back and forth between her, Christian’s Dad and myself, all of us were predicting what was going on, none of us knew for sure, and all of us were a bit out of sorts about it.
I am Mom first, and I think still, even though he’s almost 25, still a Mom foremost. I pray, I worry, I am proud, all the things, but I do indeed worry.
I have also been fully involved in the crap show that many people’s lives are right now. Divorces, break ups, job losses, abuse situations coming into the open, there is major stuff going on right now. I am writing this a week plus before the full moon solar eclipse. Baby, things are getting hot!
So, I stop inside my running like a child with scissors, and speak to Spirit.
“Please just keep them all safe, and sound, and happy, if I can add that as well. Thank you because I know you are listening”.
A few minutes later I look at the clock on my computer as I am working…12:34pm. Noted.
A while later when I am in the bathroom getting dressed to head to town, 1:11pm. Got it, thank you.
Later, we are in Menards in the bath section and as I am tapping my toe to “Hey Soul Sister” on the overhead system, I watch a woman carrying probably 15 feet of pipe walk by the end cap, and could NOT miss the fact that the pipe was bouncing up and down on her shoulder in exact rhythm with the song as she walked passed me. I giggled. Ok, I get it, he’s fine. It’s fine, we’re fine.
When I got back in the car and turned on the key, 2:22pm. I cried.
I GET IT! AND, I am so thankful, AND it doesn’t erase my human Momma heart from worry, and missing him. Those things remain, and yet, I live my life for these little, what I call, ‘God winks.’
Spirit lives not just as an observer to us, but with us, in us, and so it knows. It hears and it responds, even when we forget to ask, or to say thank you, or are walking around in a panic trying to figure out how to take some control (that may just be me on that one).
So, I still love and worry, and miss him, all the while I trust the winks, I know he is ok, I trust that he loves us, and misses us, and has a job to do and he’s good at it. Because that is him.
The winks make it easier to let go, to have faith, to find Joy, to carry on because there is much to do in life and sitting around waiting is dumb. I trust Spirit to let me know when all is in Divine order (12:34) and when the Angels are listening (1:11) and when all energies are doubled in my favor (2:22). Over the years I have developed my own communication with Spirit so you may or may not find those same meanings in some book, but Spirit and I have developed a system, and I am sticking to it. The winks are familiar and through the years I know what they are saying when they speak…as long as I am willing to see and listen, which means I need to slow down, breathe and be present…that is when the winks are visible to me. I know they are always THERE, I also know it is up to me to be available to them.
So, I encourage you in this time, when lots in this world, and our individual lives are moving and shaking, to slow down, to visit with your Spirit and to be available for the communication that surrounds us.
Forever the journey, Anne