I believe that basically everyone has an inner child with some woundedness. We all had moments when we were made to feel bad about ourselves, or had situations that were out of our control. The varied degrees of these things is not to be debated, but we all have a little something tucked away deep down inside, that when it’s ready, comes up to get our attention.
“Why is it that as soon as I get a new job I think,” I’ll do this for a little while, while I look for something else. I mean seriously, why can’t I just like what I am doing?” Her voice was thick with frustration.
“It’s the same with where I live. Everytime I move somewhere I am convinced I need to go somewhere else to be happy. What is WRONG with me?”
Through our time together we started to unravel what this is all about for her. As we dug in, I asked her inner voice some questions… that had some interesting answers…
“I’m afraid of committing because I’m afraid of making a mistake, and it will all be my fault.” As we went on she recognized an old fear from her childhood, and the parent that stood behind it.
Through visualization she was able to connect with the part of her that held that insecurity, and then magic really started to happen… she was able to see where her insecurities were her Dad’s insecurities. She began to recognize that HE was afraid, that HE didn’t feel like he was enough for his life and that in that feeling he was unconsciously asking all of his children to save him.
Spirit used the vision of him having his house on fire, and all he could do was ask his children to spit on it. They were children, they didn’t have the tools, the resources, or the wisdom to understand what was happening, and so they bought in. All of her siblings struggle with some form of insecurities, some form of feeling weak and not enough for their lives. Little did they know they were just trying to lift the burden from their father.
With tears in her voice she stepped into a place of forgiveness. Of realizing what HIS life as a child was like and by taking in the bigger broader picture, she could see him in the inner struggle that consumed him. That there was no ill intent, just projections of his own fears about himself. None of this is excusing poor behavior, but we can’t undo what is done. What we can do is release our inner child from its place of believing it was done to us personally, or with intention.
As she sat in place of forgiveness she was able to forgive her Father, and also, forgive herself; for the harshness she had come to use towards herself, for the perfectionism she had demanded from herself, and more.
Then, her Spirit spoke, “from the place of healing, what is possible now?”
With the voice of an Angel she replied, “I am free to be happy. Wherever I am, doing whatever I am doing, I am free to be happy, right here.”
Relief is the best word I can find to describe her tone.
From the place of healing so much more is possible. From healing we have access to the possibilities that life holds, and we can connect to the wisdom that lives inside of us. That wisdom that lets us know our truth without question.
Everything that has not yet been available, becomes available, from the place of healing.
Forever the journey, Anne