As always, we were wrapped in conversation that made room for amazing messages from Spirit. This particular client and I have a magical something, I believe it’s her that allows Spirit to open up with all sorts of incredible perspectives that blow MY mind.
She shared a story about attending a family gathering on this particular occasion. Previously this would’ve been a joy, but due to recent family squabbles, it was the last thing on earth she wanted to take on. But, this one took a great turn.
Recently she had been faced with some family dynamics creating substantial discomfort for her. Control, fear, old wounds, old coping mechanisms around old wounds, all made for a family version of crap soup, and it left a really bad taste in her mouth. So, the idea of amping that up by including an event with extended family just left her feeling like she wanted to crawl under a log and stay there.
Being a “do-er” in her family, she was often the one that spoke first, was looked to for the solutions to problems, and had led the way through estate issues, health issues, relationship issues, etc. While mostly she had experienced success in navigating, she was finding herself on the firing line with one particular sibling. Along with this, came the extended family gathering that she was now totally deflated by the idea of attending, but had already committed and so “had to go”.
What a gift.
At this event, a particular cousin approached her and began to chat about old times. Stories of laughter, tears, growing up together, and the joy they shared like sisters.
“You have always had a way with people”, her cousin said.
“Excuse me?” was her simple response.
Her cousin continued, “You have always had a way of seeing the bigger picture of things and getting people to understand there was more happening than they were thinking of. I’ve always marveled at how you are able to help others understand the rhyme and reason of what needs to happen. It’s really quite impressive. I’ve always admired that about you.”
This woman has a career of doing those very things, creating incredible success for herself along the way. There was an opportunity amidst a time in her life and family where she couldn’t bridge the gap between herself, the needs of the family, and a particular sibling.
“So, how did your cousin’s comments make you feel?”, I asked her.
“Like I wanted to cry”, she stated. “I was letting my sibling decide how I was thinking and feeling about myself, and in that moment my cousin helped me remember that it’s not true. It was like God sent her to me that day just to remind me”.
Sometimes that’s what it takes. Sometimes we need the perspectives of someone who loves us, who is outside of an emotional situation to remind us who we truly are, our truth. Oftentimes when emotions are high, all we are dealing with is people’s coping mechanisms, theirs, and our default programs. This is never a good thing!!! In those moments everyone is coming from their worst and so of course, that is how we are left feeling. The worst.
Remind yourself to step back. Take an opportunity to connect outside the situation and often you’ll remember who you really are. That little return to reality is often all it takes for us to healthfully hold our power and re-enter into negotiation, instead of confrontation. We can once again in our Light, step back into the arena with conflict and not take it as seriously, or personally as we have been. Other people’s behavior is never about us, it is always about something inside of them. It truly is not personal.
A glimpse of our truth through the eyes of kindness and compassion of another is oftentimes what we need to stand back up, dust ourselves off, and start again.
Forever the journey, Anne