“I think we should put up Christmas lights!” He said it with the enthusiasm of a child.
I stared at him with a look and an inner dialog somewhere between “Who is this man and what the hell happened to my husband?” And “will the aliens who abducted him bring him back, or keep him for entertainment,” and “Did he fall and bump his head?!”
I was dumbfounded. Seriously, if I hadn’t been so shocked to hear him say it, his excitement would’ve been really cute!
You see as long as I have known Clarence Cronin he has had ZERO desire to hang Christmas lights outside our house. When we first started dating I had to inform him with clarity and distinction (As in I TOLD him, not ASKED him) that we would indeed have a real Christmas tree every year because it was at that time a family tradition to go tree hunting the Sunday after Thanksgiving with my family. Period. End of discussion.
I also suggested (for real on this one, it was open for discussion) that we hang some Christmas lights outside our house to be festive! As a single Mom, I was too conservative with my money to waste it on the extra electricity for outside lights, but now there were two of us paying bills, so I was immediately, and with the same force that I had with the live tree, was told he was NOT hanging lights on the house, as he went into a 20 minute storyline of all the years he spent as a field electrician hanging holiday lights for local businesses and communities in horrendous freezing sub zero conditions, blizzards, gale force winds, you name it hellacious weather. Every single time he froze his a– off doing so, etc. it went on for a while and you get the point, and so did I, NO CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE!! So, I wisely chose my battles and got on with the inner decorating and left the outside alone. Honestly, he doesn’t even really enjoy putting lights on the tree inside the house.
So! You can imagine my absolute shock when he suggested putting up lights around our front deck for the holidays… Like blow me over with a feather, kind of shock.
A few days later I was out hiking in our woods, thinking of what really makes this season special for me… yes, it’s the birthday of Jesus (I was raised Catholic), but what I really love is that in many ways people are different… better than the rest of the year. There really is more kindness, more generosity, more giving, more joy, more laughter, more fun in being together. Right, or wrong, it’s noticeable to me and I love it. I wish it lasted always.
As I walked along I was thinking of all the various traditions from family, to religion to other cultures and it occurred to me that my reason for the season has way more to do with the Peace on Earth, good will to all, then it does anything else. We are better humans. I know that peace doesn’t live everywhere in our world, and I know there are lots of people who don’t have a holiday season, don’t have much of anything, I know there are lots of people for whom the holidays bring sadness for a variety of reasons (I am sometimes one of those too. I miss my people who have passed on, and it hurts to be without them.) I’m not delusional, and I still appreciate what I see around me. Better humans.
I rounded a corner and stepped into an open lane. It’s a trail in the woods that was part of an old ox cart trail from hundreds of years ago that still winds its way through our property… and it hit me. “THAT’S WHY HE WANTS LIGHTS!”
He’s home. For the first time in almost 50 years he is home and it’s his home. Tears filled my eyes, much like right now as I write this. There is truly a magic in being HOME for him. There is a sacredness and a reverence in being reconnected with the roots of his family; (his Mom bought this farm in 1943 when his Dad was gone fighting in WWII), his parents, his brothers who have passed, the neighbors that have come and gone, who he is in this world. This is the land that raised him. He is home.
And being home is making him a better version of human; Kinder, gentler, more giving, more excited for all that this holiday means for us, our family, our friends, and our neighbors. It all means more now, and that includes… Christmas lights.
While the lights are on a timer, he still looks outside to see them every night at 5pm when they turn on. The glow of color reflected in the face of a boy, a farm boy, who is having his own Christmas miracle.
In this season of Peace and Joy, I wish you the very best of everything human, and beyond that. May Spirit fill your house and your heart with blessings galore, and may you be surrounded by the best of our human Spirit.
Glad tidings to you and all of your kin, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and honor you in all of your traditions.
Forever the journey, Anne