Her Guides were clear, “from the moment you entered into your human consciousness, you knew your Mother’s pain, and you automatically assumed it was your fault. Taking that on was not a matter of choice, it was a matter of survival. It’s ok, you can stop now.”
For years this woman has struggled with abusive relationships. She grew up watching it in her home as a child, she participated as a teenager, as a girlfriend, as a wife, as a partner. She assumed whatever was broken in the person she loved was hers to fix. She just never understood why.
This beautiful Spirit came to me after a crushing breakup to try to understand what had gone wrong and how to move on. She was devastated, as one would imagine when a multiyear relationship comes crashing down.
“You knew it,” I told her, because her Spirit told me. “You had known since the beginning that he was wounded. But because you “loved him” you ignored it believing that if you loved him enough, it would change.”
I see this story, and some derivative of it so many times I can’t count them all. Some incredible woman instinctively tries to prove her worth by loving some wounded person. The ego self wants to believe that if she loves enough, he’ll love her that much in return and she’ll be loved the way she has always wanted to be! It’s glorious in its pursuit inside of her. The problem is, it never happens.
So she ignored all the signs. Not just the ones like his excessive addictive behaviors, and his temper, and his staying out all night, but the ones inside of her that were there, lovingly, gently but steadfast telling her this was so much less than she deserved. Her Spirit spoke, she just couldn’t listen. At least not then. Now, I guess we’ll see.
She had taken this story on from her Soul. Her Guides showed her rolling up her sleeves coming into this existence – she was ready for this life. And she was, and IS! We trust that our Soul knows what it’s doing, what it needs, how it needs it, and where it all leads in the incredible playground this life is designed to be for us. On a Soul level. Sometimes on the human level it looks like chaos, and can feel like all that and more. Our Soul knows. Just like it knew as the tiny person inside her Mother, she would take responsibility for trying to make her Mom happy, healthy, well, content her entire life.
Her self esteem was a constant struggle for her. Of course. Inside her child self she had no value unless she could solve someone else. She was a second string supporting actress in her own life play.
“It’s time to take the lead role,” they said. “It’s ok, you can be done now. The great unraveling has begun.” Her Soul knew it was time to shake off the layers of falsehoods, of lies, of self distrust and poor self esteem, so she found herself with me. Because that’s how it goes. We get where we need to be when we need to be there. It’s crazy cool, really. Our Soul directs the exact layers we need to take on, so that we can do our work stripping back to our Divine truth.
Our entire life, not second by second, our Soul knows. Our Spirit doesn’t really care if we drive the blue car or the red car, or if we buy the fake Louis Vuitton or the real one. That’s totally a matter of what makes us happy right here on the planet. I’m talking about the big chunks. Our Soul knows exactly what it is here to practice, to learn, to teach, to bring, to experience, and our Spirit cheers the way offering us a connection to “what is greater” to keep us in our wisdom and our grace.
Let’s face it, there are days when we all wonder what the hell we were thinking when we created this life. I have those, too.
We need to remember even more on those days, our Soul knows. It was all created on our behalf, often especially the yuck parts, so we could grow and evolve in just the best ways.
Our Soul knows, our Spirit cheers.
My loves, you know what you’re doing.
Forever the journey,