We take care of what we value…
Her voice cracked as she spoke, “I don’t understand why they don’t treat me well.”
She was speaking, not of some random manager at work, or the barista at the local coffee shop, but of her own children.
We talked through the trials and tribulations of young adult children, how they think they know everything, can’t be told much, have tendencies towards disrespect until they are old enough to experience life handing them their a—, and then realize their parents aren’t so dumb.
Most of you know the drill, as do I, on both ends. We perhaps had a taste of being those kids, and then raised some similar… well played Kharma, well played.
This conversation took a much different turn as her Spirit spoke about the relationships of her life, and how her children were reflections of those very relationships. Spirit spoke of her being asked to review the inner pieces of herself that had been part of those relationships, and set the boundaries her younger self didn’t know how to set.
Our conversation continued about how to know what we are asking for from others, based on what we want to experience inside of ourselves. When we want respect, or love, or to be treated a particular way it is because deep within us we hold a belief that if we have those things, there will be other things that become true. We will have peace, we will love ourselves, we will be happy, successful, confident, etc, etc.
At the core, we as humans use relationships to validate our own being. We look to others to give ourselves what we often fail to give ourselves… that is called “expectation.” Some of us know what we expect, others do it totally unconsciously. In the end Spirit simplifies things with this, “You will feel like enough when you give yourself enough. You care for what you value… value yourself”.
In this time, take the time to focus on yourself. Take inventory of what it is that you are wanting and needing from the world around you, and truly ask yourself what would be true inside of you if you received those things. Then what? And then what? Pay attention to the answers deep inside. There are aspects of you that are asking, and it is time for YOU to be the giver and the receiver.
Forever the journey, Anne