Perfectionism

Better done than perfect.

It is a statement on a simple square of white paper that hangs inside a cabinet door in my office. It has become my mantra.

Better done than perfect.

For years I have put off doing things outside my comfort zone because I didn’t think they would be good enough. Good enough meaning I was comparing myself to an invisible set of standards that was only invisible to the outside world. Inside myself, the standards were often clear; maybe it was that super famous person I so admired, it all looks perfect when she does it, puts it on, gets it out there. I mean, sure there is a staff of people responsible for making it perfect but the idea never let me off the internal hook. A few years ago, I started paying attention to how much I cared about other people’s opinions…I was kind of disappointed in myself for a bit. I mean, Iwas raised to care about what other people think, I just didn’t believe I was like that. I always balked at my Mom or others being from my small town, who were so consumed by living to other people’s standards and expectations, and worried about what other people might think. It always bugged me! But, there I was having a heart to heart with myself about caring too much about what other people thought, and accordingly not being who I truly am.

It reminds me how seriously I take myself, and way too often. The pressure to be perfect even though I know there is no such thing. A dear friend of mine used to say, “it doesn’t need to be perfect, just the next best thing”. He too had his places in his life of perfectionism. We all do. We all have places in our lives that we believe we need to be perfect. We want it just so. It needs to be or be done our way. It’s a plague I believe we are all afflicted with, just to different degrees in different ways. Some people’s fear of not being perfect drives them to not do anything so they’re never wrong, others procrastinate horribly so they always have a “well I didn’t have enough time” excuse for it to not be perfect. Others strive for endless validation from others about their perfectionism. While some of us are our own judge and jury. There are lots of ways it shows up in each of us, and it’s ok.

When the opportunity presents itself, take a look at what drives your perfectionism. Is there something that with your awareness you can release, or revise where and how it lives inside of you? Is there a person you can have an internal conversation with? Forgive, or hold accountable? Is there a management tool like meditation or yoga or connecting with nature, that helps you let go and connect to the deeper meanings in your life? There are lots of things that drive perfectionism, and it’s not all bad. It motivates us to do our best and be our best and that’s good.. It’s when it wears us down and defeats us that we need to offer ourselves some grace and let it go.

Better done than perfect.

Nowadays, I focus way more on putting it (whatever it might be at the time) out there than I do about whether or not it’s perfect. I realize there is no pleasing everyone anyway, so the whole idea that everyone is going to think something should be and all agree on what that way is ridiculous. Another mind blown moment. It is not my job to please everyone else, nor could I if I tried. As a global community of individuals, you’re never going to get everyone on board. That’s just a fact. If I don’t like the end product, I can redo it another time. I get more than one chance! And so do you.

So, keep this in mind the next time you’re stuck in a moment of “should I?”, or “is it good enough?” or “what if people don’t like it?”. If it’s from your truth, then it’s good enough, if it is a reflection of the beauty of you as a Soul, who cares what they think, and if people don’t like it, that’s on them, not you. We’re not all the same and we can’t be or everywhere you went, there everyone would be. Whatever you did, everyone would be doing it, whatever you think, they would never even consider your thoughts because they already had them. Crowded. Every single thing would be crowded…and boring.

Be YOU. Please. Let us see, hear and experience YOU.

Just do it, because done is truly better than perfect.

Blessings galore, Anne

Leave a Reply