As the mist cleared, I stepped into the sounds of men shouting, my body being pushed and shoved back and forth, bumping off of one another like pinballs. The noise was deafening, my lack of clear vision intensified the yelling and demands that came from the planks above me. Grunge and sweat were everywhere. I could feel the filth of my body, and the smell of the men around me indicated none of us had bathed in weeks. I knew instantly I hated where I was and what was happening. My gut told me this was a really, really bad idea. I looked down, my feet were in sandals with some sort of leather looking stuff wrapped around them covering my lower legs. I thought inside to myself, “do they really think this is going to protect me?!”. But then I considered the time period and gave into the idea that it was all that was available for a man at the low end of the priority chain. In one hand I held a short-handled battle-ax, primed, sharpened to sever whatever body part got in front of it, and on the other hand, a long-handled spear. We were going to battle, and I wasn’t in favor of it. At all.
I looked over my left shoulder and saw my brother. I knew the second I saw him it was my brother, but not playing the role of brother, and in that same moment knew without question, I would never see him again. He would die in this battle, of that fact, I had no doubt. “I’m losing him again”, I thought. But suddenly that held less of heartache, as a new realization set in. I had already lost him, and apparently had gotten him back again, only to lose him. As confusing as it was, it gave me a sense of peace to realize if I have seen him twice already, I will indeed see him again at some point, some lifetime, in our future. He looked directly at me, a piercing look through my eyes directly to my soul, and I knew that he knew it too. All of it. He recognized me as I recognized him, and he too knew that he would not survive that battle and that we would indeed see each other again.
We were both correct. He died. But the sense of peace continues. Because I saw him again after that, which was this life, I will almost for certain, see him again. It is a peculiar sense of peace, and yet, it is without question, peace.
It’s strange to think this really eases my pain, but it does. The gift of past life regression has been surprising. I’ve done this process intuitively, through Shamanic work, guided meditation and through my training in hypnosis, for myself and my clients for several years. However, practicing it several times a day, for several days, has defiantly deepened my sense of connection and possibilities for the work, and allowed some shifts that have been long coming.
My husband and I recently spent a week studying with Dr. Brian Weiss, world-renowned psychiatrist, and past life regression master. To say it was incredible is an understatement. I loved immersing myself in a quality of hypnosis work that I have long wanted to study with more specificity and to step more fully into that work has ignited things inside of me that I’m not sure if I’ve connected to…ever. Aspects of self and Soul and Spirit that are now more fully awake, and available.
It was so interesting to be shown Soul groups, those that we go around with again and again. To see the gift of “lessons” from a more objective standpoint, and so with a greater understanding when we often ask our emotional body for the information. I appreciate certain people in my life, have gained greater understanding into particular relationships, and know myself more clearly than I have through other work. It’s a layering process for sure. Each modality, each experience, book, article, seminar, and spiritual experience is laying the path for the next. We just don’t tend to recognize the intricacies of the process.
Life makes us think it’s real. Our ego-mind keeps us very attached to this life, this body, this experience, and becomes the filtering mechanism for it. With that filter in place, everything is clouded by its presence; our perspectives, thoughts, feelings, and ideas it wants us to have so we can stay the same, and accordingly, stay alive. While this ego is so absolutely necessary to our survival, I mean we really can’t be without it, we do need to develop an awareness of how it drives and directs our moment-to-moment experience. Seriously, it’s not the truth. It’s just a story. All of it. In many ways, this too. Consider that. But not too long, or it causes brain strain.
Working with past life regression/progression (because if you can go backward, you can go forwards) allows us an opportunity to move beyond the ego’s filter and have a more direct experience of our lesion and learnings, our attachments, and phobias, relationships or life struggles. That “from the top of the mountain” perspective is invaluable. I remember a few years ago working with a client who had traveled to Hawaii. For years she dreamed of going there and finally had the opportunity. The odd part was the moment she booked her trip, she started getting nervous. Now, “nervous” can take a lot of forms, I realize, but she was downright afraid to go. She had flown multitudes of times, it wasn’t that. She had left the continental US before, it wasn’t that. She’d flown over water, it wasn’t that. She had no idea why the closer the trip came, the more nervous she became. Prior to her trip, I really didn’t hear much about this, it was after her trip that she came to me and said, “is there anything you can do to help me understand this?”. Her fear had ruined her trip. She cried every day she was there, was afraid every time she left her hotel room. She was miserable. Her husband had traveled with her, so she had a companion, someone she trusted to take care of her. Nothing helped her anxiety. The minute she got on the plane to come home, the fear was gone.
We did a hypnotic induction (relaxation process) and the further within she went, the more clear the images and storyline became. She was “special, but didn’t want to be. I was pure and that made me the best candidate”. In case you don’t see where this is going. She, as a young woman in a past life, had been sacrificed to the gods in a volcano. You guessed it, in Hawaii. EUREKA! By understanding where her fear was coming from, and that she was not going to be thrown into a volcano again this lifetime, it totally shifted her feelings about Hawaii! A few years later she went back, and joyfully, had an amazing time, and loved every second of it! Through her understanding of what had been in a past life, she was able to release her fears and find the joy in this beautiful place that in that life, and this one, she came to love so much.
That brother I saw in my regression, was my brother David. Most of you know, because I’ve written about him before, he passed away several years ago. I have certainly lost people of tremendous value in my life, but he was definitely the hardest hit. What I found incredible was the moment I saw him on board that ship, I knew he was going to die in that battle. I knew he knew it too, and I knew instantly it was ok that I lost him in this life, because I had lost him before and he had come back again in this life. Which stands to reason, that he and I will be back together again in another life.
Oddly, that moment helped me realize any separation he and I have will only be temporary. We’ll be together again, sometime, in some relationship, in some other life. Our Souls will continue to bump into each other over and over again. While it doesn’t eliminate the grief of losing him, it does indeed lessen the feelings of “pain” around it. Do I still miss him? Hell, yes. But do I have the literal pain in my heart and body over his loss, the way I did before? No.
In its place is a sense of peace knowing only the ego’s perception of time and space truly separate us, and it’s just an illusion. Sure, it’s not the same as holding his hand, hugging him, or seeing his smile, his voice or the brotherly punch in the shoulder (seriously, he never outgrew his need for that). It’s certainly not the same, but I don’t expect it to be. I know its not the same, but it is indeed better than it used to be. For that, I am grateful.
The knowing that if it’s true for my relationship with him, in my experiences, it was true with others as well. I will again see my son (this explains a lot about why he’s my favorite human), my husband, parents, siblings, and some of my dear friends. I love them in this life, and strangely in some ways feel more connected to them then I did before. The sense of “history” together feels so much deeper and more expansive than before. It’s one thing to say, ”remember years ago when we …” and it’s another thing to sit with them and think, “and in that lifetime we were brothers, and in this other one, we fought next to each other, and…” so on, and so on. The statement, “I’ve known you forever” takes on entirely new meanings!
We’ve all had the feeling of knowing someone before. The connection felt effortless, you knew each other instantly like you’d been together somewhere before this. It’s likely true. Isn’t it great that we can heal ourselves and deepen our bonds with something so simple?
For tips on past life regression check out Dr. Brian Weiss online, YouTube or one of his many books such as “Many Lives Many Masters” , “Miracles Happen”, “Same Soul Many Bodies”, and more.
Wanna try it? We’ll be hosting a past life regression class on Wednesday, August 28th from 7-9pm. Contact me for details and to register. The cost is $15.00 per person.
Or, contact me to schedule a private session.
Blessings Galore, Anne