It has been said that in life, pain is guaranteed, suffering is optional.
Yup. Let’s talk about this.
A few weeks ago I was working with a client of mine and she was talking about her soon to be ex-spouse. For years their relationship had been toxic; abuse on every level, talking down to her in public creating incredible humiliation, her family and friends, being very religious, were at odds as to how to support her knowing she was in a horrible marriage… but it was marriage. She too was struggling with the same principles in regards staying or going. She knew she was miserable and deserved better, her children were also being negatively impacted, but… her faith beliefs said you don’t get divorced.
This woman was suffering, in her marriage, and with the pain she felt at the thought of disappointing everyone including God by leaving and getting divorced.
As we connected with her Spirit her guides poured love and adoration around her, and they spoke to her of her Light in the eyes of God, that she was also his child, as was her husband, and their children, and that never would the greatest Love in the Universe tie her to feelings of self hatred (which had developed over years in her relationship). “We are your fruit and your food, come to us with your suffering, it is not meant for you.” These were the words of love that poured from her Spirit.
Here is the deal. I remember similar feelings at the end of my own first marriage. I remember thinking everyone including God would hate me if I said I quit. I wasn’t being horribly abused, how I was being treated is NOTHING compared to how she was being treated by her husband, they are not even comparable. I just want to make that clear for HER well-being. But the feelings of suffering between all of these people, and Heaven and myself, those things felt very familiar to me.
“We are your fruit and your food” as if to say, “we are your sweetness and nourishment. We will sustain you.” The look on her face was that of confusion until she heard the second part.
“Come to us with your suffering, it is not meant for you.” Her message inside of her was clear. She breathed deep and started to cry… hard. She got it.
Yes, there are times in life that we have pain. It’s hard to know what “right” is, and yet our Spirit reminds us that suffering is not for us.
This doesn’t mean never let yourself be uncomfortable. Growth. Change. Are uncomfortable, but the aspect of suffering is optional. It is not meant for us.
In the end, feel the feelings, but understand that standing in those feelings and not moving, maintaining their intensity and destruction, is not meant for us. Use your feelings as information as they were intended, and then choose to move in directions that bring you to peace so deep it may make you cry.
Forever the journey, Anne