The Gift of Not Knowing Someone’s Limitations

To be totally honest, the idea wasn’t even mine. My dear friend, who is helping me with my INSpire retreat this year, and I were having a conversation about some of the pre-retreat homework and I was inquiring with her to see if she thought I was expecting too much. Her feedback was simply, “I think it’s a great idea. When we’re all together in that space, all the problems fade away. You forget what you’re struggling with you. Forget what you’re bumping your head up against because you’re in a room with all these amazing people and you’re in the amazingness of it all“. It made perfect sense to me. What could be a greater gift than sitting with a group of strangers who don’t know what your limitations are?

So it began.

As we gathered on the first INSpire retreat weekend, I was more than a little trepidatious about introducing this process, as it was one that I had made up with Spirit’s guidance and had never done it before. In my heart, I knew there could be amazing benefits from it. In my fear brain, I also knew they could all think it absolutely sucked and was a total waste of their time. In this particular process, we took each beautiful soul individually; their desire for this year, and their perceived greatest obstacle, and we all connected to our intuitive voice. Then, we gave feedback on how to overcome, or what spirit needed that person to know about their obstacle and themselves.

At first, the usual struggles took place; people wanted to give a tremendous backstory, they wanted to talk about what they had done, and why the obstacle was a real obstacle. Other people wanted to ask questions and dig deeper into the backstory to tool out more information they believed would help them respond better.

Like the person I am, comfortable with discomfort and willing to challenge myself in the name of a greater process, I stopped them one by one. “No, no backstory. No questions about how and why or what. Breathe, soften, and connect with your intuition. What does your intuition say?”

The gift you see in not knowing someone’s backstory is that it allows us to receive intuitive guidance without our ego-mind, considering what we already know or believe, is true about the person or their situation. When we do a tremendous backstory, we already begin to filter, based on what they’ve done, where they’ve been, what their experiences are and have been, what they’ve already tried, what they like, what they don’t like, etc. All of these things become a block for Spirit to speak its truth.

When I work with clients, I don’t get a backstory. Total strangers come into my office to fill out a very short intake. I tell them about the weirdness of working with me, and we dive in. I don’t know who they are, where they’ve been, what has happened, or what has happened in their life. And it works not only to my benefit but also for theirs. I can’t get caught up in their story when I don’t know their story. It gives a greater opportunity for a clear and resident spiritual truth to come through. Preconceived notions are destroyed, un-serving mental and emotional barriers and limiting beliefs are broken. Insight, peace, clarity, and ‘AHA’ moments are birthed.

In the end, I’m willing to call this process a win. As it played out during our retreat day, total strangers were allowed to love and provide guidance for one another, hearts were warmed, minds and emotions expanded, and people who walked in the door, never having met each other before were able to lend a hand and a hug to lift each other up. It was truly my version of magic.

Sometimes we all need to be in a space with people who don’t know our perceived limitations. There is a tremendous gift in working with or talking to someone who doesn’t live in your own mind and isn’t your family, friend, or your neighbor. People who love us desperately also can get in our way, because they filter based on what their version of us is. This is normal behavior, the unconscious mind loves shortcuts, and it really is nothing more than that.

What I observed in my home surrounded by magical, incredible humans, caring for and opening to one another was nothing short of miraculous. This, my friends, can be the gift of a coach, a psychic, a counselor, etc. People oftentimes get caught up in the idea that they don’t want to talk to a total stranger about their problems. Let me tell you from my experience in my practice, and the beauty I got to witness at INSpire, there are incredible gifts, shifts, and expansions that can take place by allowing ourselves the wisdom of total strangers”.

Forever the journey, Anne

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