I was working with a client the other day and we were having a conversation about how we know when we’re doing what is “right” for any given situation. She’s still relatively new to her position, and it is not one for the faint of heart. Her job is stressful and demanding of her personally and professionally. She works long days, odd hours, and faces situations the rest of us would seriously cringe at.
Her plight in this is never knowing if she’s doing the right thing the right way at the right time for the situation. For her every single situation is totally different, and there is no text book on any of it. So, it begs the question, “how do you know what’s right, when there is no way to know what is right”?
Her Guides step in to the rescue. “If you enter a space to create a space, you’ve given what is yours to give”.
At first, neither of us really understood this, but as time and messages and thoughts and sharing went on, the meaning became clear. Our only job in any situation is to create a space for the situation. In essence: stand back, stay clear, make a boundary for the situation, and let it be what it needs to be.
So often, not just in our work but in our daily lives, we think we’re involving ourselves in situations with the very best of intentions. We all want the people we love to feel loved and supported, and have the backing they need in life, especially when times are tough. When we think something is unfair, or someone is being treated unfairly, it’s normal for us to be somewhat protective and step into the ring. By and large, we’re good people and we’re doing our best to be good people. Unfortunately, oftentimes we get involved with a perception that we know what is best for the situation, and accordingly, we direct it where we think it should go. As a Healer, I have had to practice this relentlessly, and still find myself having to pay close attention to this. I can’t have an idea of what should happen because if I do, I’m in the way of what is meant to happen. We are all in this same role, just in different ways in our individual lives.
The need for clarity is the same. It’s hard to stand back and let things roll as they need to. People feel bad, they get hurt, there’s nothing we can do to save them, and we so want to save them. For my client, her job demands that she let things unfurl the way they need to, but with that said, she’s not always certain what her role then is.
A while back I was working with a family who experienced some pretty substantial issues that had left their children divided. If one was at home, the other wouldn’t come home. Holidays were missed, special occasions were attended by one but not the other. Both adult children would call Mom and Dad to see if the other was attending an event, and then decide if they were going to show up. Their primary concern that brought them to me was what they could do to fix the situations between their kids. Their secondary concern was that this issue was having a negative impact on their marriage as they would often end up arguing and on opposite sides of “who was right and who was wrong”. Their marriage relationship was suffering because of it.
“What can we do to fix this?” was their primary concern.
“Nothing,” Spirit said. “It’s not yours to fix. By being in the middle you keep them divided on either side. Spirit gave me a picture which I related to them.
“That’s exactly it. They hurt each other, it had nothing to do with us” the Mom replied. The couple received guidance from their loved ones and it helped them come to terms with the fact that they weren’t helping the situation by being part of it. So, they decided to prioritize their relationship and stop being in the middle of their kids. It’s not easy, but their commitment is to one another, and to allow their adult children to figure out what their own relationships as siblings, are worth.
“If you enter a space to create a space, you’ve given what is yours to give”.
Right. Create sacred space, be in your body, be clear, keep people physically safe of course, but let things unfurl as the Souls need them to, and that is something we only think we know the truth of. Be awake, don’t let your agenda get in the way of someone else’s life. Too often we think we know best, but we only know our own feelings and desires for the situation. Our filter is dirty with our own life experiences and that distorts what we think is best for someone else.
Creating sacred space simply means that we are there to help what needs (which is different than where we might want to feel needs) our help, and leave the rest alone. Creating sacred space allows us to connect to Spirit and draw on its strength. To know all is well, all is cared for, Spirit doesn’t choose sides, so we don’t need to either. Sacred space allows all that is to be honored, respected and seen in the situation and that best will find its own way in time. Spirit knows, so we can take the brakes off of ourselves in feeling that we need to know, and to direct.
Mind your own bobber. Keep your fingers out of there. Mind your beeswax as my Aunt used to say. Send love, send intentions for the best to be revealed without any idea of what that might be. Stay curious and in the space of love.
Forever the journey,