I was in a gathering of one of my Sacred Souls groups and we were talking about the weddings some of us have coming up and those who have already hosted those family events.
Myself and one of the other participants were talking about the stress that some people create when planning their events and through our age and experience what we have learned about the value of all that stress when it’s over and done. “In the end there is a drink and a toast,” or “at the end of the day the important part is that they are married, not the party.”
At this point one of our beautiful souls spoke up and said, “That is because we are speaking from wisdom, and they don’t have that advantage.”
…
YES! Some of us have been married multiple times, we are all over 50 years old and our lens for life and what is important as we sit solidly in our last half, is very different from the first half of life. This wise woman encouraged us to ask questions that help younger people step back and take a broader view. “What do you want to remember about this day, 10 years from now?”
My husband and I are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary so that really gave me a great opportunity to pause and reflect. Our wedding was 100 family and best friends in our backyard at the lake. We ate well, talked smart, and ended it with fireworks… literally. We set off fireworks that night surrounded by people we love and celebrate life with. It was wonderful.
10 years later, that is what I remember most, and it was still perfect in my mind.
So often we approach life from our own experience forgetting that others don’t share it. They haven’t walked the journeys we have and so can not share the wise perspectives we have. Not because they lack intelligence, but rather they have had different experiences of their lives than we have, and in this case, they have the gift of youth and intelligence, which is not the same as wisdom.
Wisdom is said to be the combination of intelligence (what you have learned) and experience.
In most cases it is hard earned and holds tremendous space to be respected. And as an aged woman, I also need to remember that young people have gifts that I don’t have, and I have gifts that they don’t. Like the view from the back row. It’s a simple matter of age and experience vs youth and naivety.
What I loved the most was the perspective shift that came at the idea of how to help share the concept of that bigger picture, not by telling them about it, but by inviting someone to find their own greater vantage point.
It was a great reminder of how often we assume others should share our thoughts, beliefs, opinions and why sometimes the divide seems large.
Wisdom is a gift. I wouldn’t trade this age and stage for my youth any day of the week. That shit was hard. This age is challenging, but in totally different ways. I worry less about what others think of me if they are not people I would want to be like, or want at my birthday party. I am more thoughtful about what and who I spend my energy on and with, if it doesn’t pour into me, it’s not happening, and of course other wisdom that I have gained by being my age, with the life experience I have had.
And, in that moment I was gently reminded of how I can not just share my wisdom, but introduce people I love, to their own.
Forever the journey, Anne