“You’re doing the job of 10 people, and that’s a conservative estimate,” I said.
“I know”. Her body slunk down, her eyes dropped and filled a bit with tears.
“You are an amazing human, but you’re just ONE human. You get three.”
“But who’s going to do the rest?!” She looked at me in shock.
“Great question. Start with giving away one thing. Let’s just start there”.
People, seriously, I have this kind of conversation so many times. Some beautiful Soul feeling called to change the world single handedly, soon finding themselves buried past their eyeballs in what can not possibly get done by one person.
But did Spirit really call us to save the world single handedly? Were we really called to work and scrape and scrounge all by ourselves in order to fulfill our Spiritual calling? Does Spirit really ask us to toil and cry ourselves to sleep at night because we’re so overwhelmed by our calling?
We do this. We believe, with all the limitations of an old story of enough-ness, that we are “called” from an inner place, deep within to make a difference, and believing we are the only ones that can do it. Or will do it, or should do it. We isolate, in our attempt at proving to our deep frightened selves that we are enough, and in doing so we do our habitual minds work for it…inevitably, we prove our psyche correct – we are not enough. And it breathes a sigh of relief as we anguish in our failure. It rests in its correctness and we feel horrible and defeated because we can’t possibly get it all done
Yet, we do it all the time. Sure, this seems like an extreme example, and we’re not all out trying to change the world. But we do indeed often find ourselves struggling in life to prove we are enough. Trying to prove this, of course, to no one but our inner selves. So we give and give and give and take on, and take on, and take on believing that one day the skies will open, the sun will shine directly and specifically for us and we will know we are good. We’ll feel it.
Except ,we don’t. So we keep trying. We banter between the warrior and the martyr, and ultimately just end up frazzled.
It’s time to stop. It’s time to take a really honest look at what we are called to do and make room for others. Others who will love, support, encourage, cheerlead, strategize and sometimes just pick up a damn broom and clean up, put their boots on and get to work next to us. In this we allow ourselves to connect to what our habitual mind is so afraid we’re not – accepted, wanted, loved.
It takes a bold act, sometimes like admitting you’re just one person and letting go of what doesn’t serve the greater purpose. Sometimes it’s narrowing that purpose to one or two things instead of 10! I am blessed to be among groups of women who do too much. I am blessed to typically be in the company of go getters!
I do too much, too.
The feelings of should and supposed to and “let’s get after it” are so strong we believe them. But, even feelings, sometimes especially feelings, need to be questioned. They need to be evaluated, as the habitual fear mind uses them against us – a lot.
You are enough, for sure. And coming to peace with that inside is a practice. Yes, a practice. We have to practice our enough-ness. We practice setting boundaries, and saying no as a complete sentence, and leaving situations and relationships that don’t serve our greatest self. We practice recognizing not everything is for us to do, and we practice asking for help and allowing ourselves to receive.
Setting. Asking, Allowing. Receiving…all practices.
All practices that lead to actually feeling like we’re enough.
Today, just stop for a moment; where are you trying to prove your enough-ness? And where my friend, can you practice making room for actually experiencing yourself as enough.
Forever the journey,