Revival
I looked into her eyes and saw nothing but hope and excitement for life. I noticed how her young skin glowed, flawless, her hair in an adorable cut that fit her to perfection. She looked strong, confident and ready to take on the world… I miss her so much.
Why was I always so hard on her? Why was she never quite “enough” of whatever it was being judged at the moment? She’s beautiful… but I never saw it… until now.
I remember her being in that moment the photo was taken; excited, confident, top of her game, maybe even a little cocky in her belief that she could do anything, and seeing her so excited for what she could become, looking at her photo, I envy her.
Yes, I was looking at a photo of myself, from 25 plus years ago, and I wondered where she went. I wonder what happened to her over the years of two marriages, motherhood, divorce, hard work, uncertainty, upheaval. Life.
This past weekend I was sitting with a dear friend while she cried about her weight. She is stunning inside and out. I am in awe of her; she is brilliant, talented in so MANY ways, kind, generous, loving, hilariously funny but she doesn’t share that sentiment of herself. She feels judged every time she walks into a room, or is seen on a zoom call.
Ladies, what have we been doing to ourselves? And I am serious on this one.
Spirit makes it very clear in its messages that we are in a time of revival, a Renaissance of sorts. The awakening of Divine Feminine in all of its forms, that is so necessary for humanity to evolve. I know we are not seeing it around us… until you look in the cracks. Women are standing up, speaking up. We are sharing generations of hurt, and repression, and sharing woundedness that has gone on for centuries. We are telling, not asking, what is appropriate for us and what we need. Finally.
Does anyone else feel tired? I feel exhausted by judging myself and thinking others are doing the same thing.
I watched a video a while back and a plus sized woman was talking about her education, her success in life, marriage, motherhood, education, travel, etc and she boldly said her weight was the least interesting thing about her… but that is what she constantly feels judged on to the point that nothing else matters.
We all do it, perhaps this one hits home more for me because I too have always battled with being overweight. We all judge, we all have implicit biases (the things your brain uses to judge that you don’t even realize you are judging, but you are). Our ego mind makes judgements about less and more as a protective mechanism, I get that. But I simply feel tired of it.
Looking at the picture of myself I was reminded how much of my life I have wasted feeling bad, or insecure about how I looked, or my lack of education, wealth, connections, popularity, the list goes on and on and on. I know I am not alone. I work with women everyday who tell me similar stories of their own lives. Too often we look at who raised us, who told us we weren’t enough, or made us feel bad, shamed us, made fun of, etc. I am tired of that too.
Can we just stop? Can we just look at one another on the street and compliment each other, on anything?
Too often women are the worst to other women! We can be so catty!
The world does not need more small minds talking crap about other people, or looking down on others for whatever reason we have decided gives us internal permission to do so. Lord only knows we have enough in our media right now that gives us external permission to judge and determine other people’s worth, but can we just NOT. I am exhausted by it.
Here is my Pollyanna vision: we say we love you way more often than we talk crap. We cry tears of Joy in the simple beauty of life far more than we cry because someone is mean to us, or we feel bad about ourselves. How about when we walk down a street, into a coffee shop, bar, boutique, food pantry, wherever, we find at least one person to say something kind to. Compliment strangers. Connect to people who are different than you are even if that difference is small. Take the chance of seeing or hearing perspectives that you don’t share and just consider another side of things. Not to change your mind, just to entertain your brain with something new (it’s called neuroplasticity and it decreases your likelihood of dementia. Try it!)
Find something, anything to do to be kind to people you know, and to people you don’t.
A dear friend of mine, while I was commenting on his ability to engage with ANYONE, ANYWHERE (no joke, we met in an airport 25 years ago and we’re still friends), said to me, “There are no such things as strangers. They are not strange, I just don’t know them yet. I’m sure they’re wonderful!” He meant it, and what I have always loved most about him is his ability to love himself unconditionally. Not because he thinks he’s perfect, but because he realizes that he isn’t so there is no need for him to get caught up in petty things.
Let’s try it his way. Let’s be kind whether we agree or not. Let’s say nice things to people we don’t know. Let’s let go of grudges because they are hard for US to carry. Lets see beauty in others AND in ourselves. We deserve it. Let us see the gifts that we bring to the world, admire our talents, gifts, wisdom, thick or thin thighs. You are more than the number on your scale, or the size of your jeans, or even the model of your vehicle.
You are beautiful. Me too. I hope my 30 year old self is proud of me.
Forever the journey, Anne