Opening the File Cabinet to Choice

“It’s a good marriage,” she paused. “It’s fine. We don’t really get each other, but it’s fine.’

A bit later, tears came. Tears of regret, frustration, of feeling unseen and unheard not just in her marriage, but seemingly in her life. “We have a friend group, and they’re nice” she paused again, “but they’re really his friends, they don’t really know me or what I’m like. I feel like if they knew the real me they wouldn’t like me. I’m not like everyone else.”

No, she’s not. But she is a lot like me…and you too if you read my blogs. She’s mystical, and into Spirit, and Guides and intuition and energy and all those hippy-dippy things that we weirdos love. And I’m laughing, so please don’t take me seriously when I say “weirdos”.  I think we’ve all had the feeling of not belonging, or that the people around us don’t really get how we are or see the world the way we do. Been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. Onward.

She was feeling stuck, without any way out into a world that was more like “her”.

So her Spirit spoke.

“Employ the greater mind. Get into the unconscious. Ask her, “where do you have choice?, what else can you choose?”

So I said it out loud to her, “ask yourself, where do I have choice? Or what else can I choose right now?”

She got this scrunchie look on her face, tilted her head to the side and said, “I don’t know what you mean?”

Short form.

Stuck is a perception of not having options. Choice is a perception of having options. The unconscious mind is a great big computer storage system filled to the brim with all of our experiences and perceptions and lots of other good stuff and has this crazy ability to whip up whatever we’re paying attention to and all the files related to it. The unconscious mind sees everything from the vantage point of “I’ve got a file for that”. So when we are in a place where we feel stuck, the unconscious mind will fill us with all of its files around feeling stuck. Conversely, when we enter into the unconscious mind with a curiosity of “what else can I choose”, it will rip open all of its files on all the other options available to us…which are unlimited.  It’s super cool! It’s also why the answers to questions pop in at two o’clock in the morning. The unconscious mind will work on a question until it comes up with the answer. And the more answers that ping in our emotional body, the more like feeling answers it comes up with.

So, in this case, the shift out of being stuck is to enter into the unconscious mind with an open-ended question. “Where do I have choice?”

Fast forward one month.

Back in my office, she is beaming. I mean, BEAMING!

“That phrase has changed my life!”  “Now, when I feel stuck, unseen or uncomfortable in any way, I just ask myself, “where do I have choice?, and then I immediately start to recognize what I can do instead. It’s the most incredible thing!”


Too often, we feel like we are stuck in a situation, and with that, the discomfort of it can become its own bad habit. This simple practice of asking ourselves an open-ended question can shift us into our unconscious mind, and become the start of the truest form of liberation.

The liberation from our habits, and the beginning of true choice.

Forever the journey, Anne

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