In my work I very often find myself with amazing people who, for various reasons, are not living their lives like they are amazing. Recently, I was engaged with a woman who was struggling with life in general. She had a nice life, but just was not feeling it. She lacked fulfillment and a sense of belonging in her world. Through a few sessions we put together some missing pieces and things started turning around. So grateful!
During this session she and I were talking more about her and a job change that was coming up. She was afraid she would lose herself in a new environment and not be able to continue on the upward path she was establishing for herself. She is creative. No, not an artist. Well, she is an artist but that’s not what her boss pays her for. She has other incredible skill sets that she got hired for, but in her core, she’s a creative. She needs to think outside the boxes, she needs to express herself by talking with her hands, she needs to design and create things whether its craft projects with her kids, or her now developing personal artist style in how she dresses or her creative time alone. She thinks creatively and needs to live creatively, she has now discovered, in order to be happy and fulfilled.
In her concern her Guides stepped forward and started directing her like a compass.
“Find your center” they said, “and always return to it”.
If she always returns to herself as a creative, she can tackle anything.
She had found this to be true with her spouse as well. Her spouse is a person who needs to have fun. It does not matter what they are doing, they need to be having some fun. Her spouse in times of struggle, forgets to make things fun, and my client watches this person she loves spiral downward. Being fun doesn’t mean they can’t make clear, responsible decisions, or that they can’t engage in a serious conversation, or be supportive when things get tough. By learning about their own need to come from an energy of fun, they have developed more and more ways to be those more serious aspects of life fully, when they stand in the strength of who they truly are inside. Through their own work with me, they have discovered they have an amazing ability to see the good in practically every situation, and that is a gift they access most easily from their Spirit of fun. Her spouse, coming from a Spirit of fun, can do anything, and does, when they live from the center of who they really are. Fun.
They’re a great couple and have learned to play off of each other’s strong suits in new ways as they’ve grown as individuals and as a couple. Their life and relationship are blossoming in new ways, and they are developing a deeper connection and a more complete family…except for one thing. They have a son who was having some behavior issues and they had no idea what to do about it.
They have tried the traditional approach of trying to punish bad behavior and rewarding good behavior. They lacked some consistency in the punishment department as it is not first nature for either of them to be mean. That is how punishment felt to them. So, they came to me thinking perhaps there is something wrong with their son.
The Guides started in, “the wrong that you are looking for is in your mirror”. Wowza! That’s a bit harsh.
As the Guides went on, they talked about the boy as the CFO. He comes from a place of structure, organization, and discipline – traits neither his creative nor fun parent did extremely well. The Guides talked about how the CFO didn’t believe he could trust them to take care of him. He did not feel that they were equipped to handle things so he would act out in ways that were dominating and bullying. He believed inside of himself he needed to take control because he didn’t perceive his parents had control.
You see, they’d make plans, and then change their minds at the last minute. They would make commitments and not follow through. They would make rules and not stick to them or enforce them with their children. Things in their free flow world were no big deal. They believed they were just shifting with the current circumstances, not that they were seeming wishy washy.
Their other child, also a fun core person, was fine with it, so they had no idea why their older child, who was still in single digits, was acting out. Once the Guides explained their older son’s personality and accordingly his perspectives on their lifestyle, the lights went on. They needed to show this child that not only were they in charge, but that they could be trusted to handle being in charge.
We talked more about how to do what the Guides were asking them to do, and off they were to start their new experiment.
Within a matter of weeks, their older child’s behavior was changing for the better. He was more relaxed, sleeping better and was not acting out nearly as often. Together they are all working on creating a life balance of styles that fits for all of them, not just the creatives and fun centers.
The Guides were clear, for all of them, individually and collectively, we have to come from our center. When we live from who we are in our center everything changes. Even when life asks us to step out of our center into other personality aspects, as long as we return to who we are, we can be flexible and accommodating to the outside world. We must know and respect the truth within us and live from it.
The key to happiness is not finding our joy outside of us somewhere. It is about connecting to the center of where we come from, which is already awake and alive inside of us, and living from there. Living from our own unique place of “where we come from” inside of us, will allow us to get the very best from ourselves and from the world we live in. Living from our center means living in our strengths. It gives us the ability to change how we handle every situation we find ourselves in. We connect to our resources instead of connecting to our fears or inadequacies. Instead of being inside feeling like a stranger in a strange land, we can learn to be in our center, in all that means for us, and it allows us to come from a place of solution in any situation.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a creative, fun seeker, CFO, engineer, or entrepreneur. Whatever or wherever your center lies, it only matters that you discover it and live from it!
Forever the journey,