She had been having concerns with various relationships for the previous few weeks. Of course, this was the middle of October and all of the energies were pushing us into relationship conundrums; some deepening, some re-evolving, and some ending. Because of this, it was no surprise that like for many of us, relationship energies were in the maximum “play” capacity.
There were concerns around healthy energies: people who were perhaps stuck in all the patterns that were no longer serving them or those around them, as well as situations of people trampling all over her boundaries and personal values in ways that were clearly selfish and inappropriate. She was getting hit kind of hard by all of it.
A few days later, we were having a conversation where she said something super nice to me and I replied with “you are so kind“ her response back to me was more than a little bit surprising. “I have not been feeling very kind lately”, she said. My response to this was this simple reminder to her – being kind does not mean you have to tolerate everyone’s crappy behavior. Being kind is not an absence of healthy boundaries or being mindful of taking care of oneself in a relationship. In essence, being kind needs to start with us first.
When we allow people to treat us poorly without accountability we are being unkind to ourselves, and ultimately to them as well.
When we allow people’s negativity to penetrate and permeate into our mindset and derail our dreams and focus on positive manifestation, we are indeed unkind to ourselves. Remember to be kind to yourself first in this time of great shifting relationship energy (yes we are still in it).
Kindness is typically defined as a sense of gentle observation of one’s needs. Be that for yourself. Be kind to yourself in thoughts, feelings, and then actions. Remember always: being kind does not mean you have to be walked all over by other people. This is not kind, it is a blatant lack of self-love and boundaries.
Please don’t confuse one for the other.
Forever the journey, Anne