I have the privilege, and I use that word with great intention because it is indeed a privilege, to walk the journeys of life with some truly amazing people. In short, I have incredible clients. I have amazing people in my LampLighter group, my Sacred Souls groups, attending my INSpire retreat, classes and events, etc. I am literally surrounded by heroes and sheros on a daily basis.
In a recent session a dear client was sharing her most recent “purging” expedition. Over the last few years she has purged TONS of “stuff” from her home, garage, and so on. She is my purging shero!
With each season of purging has been the opportunity for her to revisit layers upon layers of her life. The greatest prompt for these purges has been brought on by the tremendous loss of her spouse and her child. So, with each layer comes floods of memories, tears and healing as she moves into what life has in store for her going forward.
During this session she talked about a particular layer she was going through and came upon an envelope filled with memories of her sister before she had passed. She talked about looking at the pictures, the newspaper articles, and the trip down memory lane. She spoke of the joy and how she laughed at the photos and smiled at the memories and the sense of comfort in recognizing those moments were met now with smiles and laughter instead of the tears they once brought forward.
That was huge. I think back to when I lost my brother and how every time I thought of him, or anything that reminded me of him, my eyes welled up with tears. Now, sure I still think of him and have tears but they are very different tears, but more often I laugh, or shake my head at some antics I remember. I look to the sky and shout “THANK YOU!” for every turkey feather he leaves me and I blow a kiss and say, “Hey brother” when I see an eagle.
In this conversation we all talked about “the right time.” That in grief there is this time when it feels “right” to look, to read the obituaries again, to reread the cards that were sent, to see the photos and to remember our loved ones with joy in our heart. That there is this “right time” to honor them and us, and that beyond the rawness of grief, what remains is LOVE.
She knows there will be a day she can walk that same journey with her spouse and child, but it is not today, and that is totally ok. It’s ok to know when the time is right, and when the time is “wait.” There is love and grace and joy in both spaces.
It’s ok to wait… and you will know when it is “right.” Trust that.
Forever the journey, Anne