Welcome to Summer!
Here in the Midwest we’re finally breaking out of the weight of winter. Not kidding, there were many places in Minnesota that have had snow fall in the last couple weeks. Its been crazy.
Yard work, everywhere is in full swing. The BBQ’s are breaking out, and the boats are hitting the lakes in high fashion. I love this time of year! Summer is why we hearty Minnesotans gut through winter every year. This is our glory time!
I grew up on a small family farm in central Minnesota. My family was not well off, but we always had enough. My parents worked hard to make sure of it. Summer definitely meant an increase in our work load, so sometimes the warmer weather felt like a mixed bag. My Dad was the head of the household and my Mom, the neck and shoulders, as they say. Lol
I grew up thinking my Dad knew everything. As a farmer he had to, really. He was a veterinarian, an accountant, a mechanic, a meteorologist, a horticulturist, an electrician, a carpenter, you name it, the list goes on. He is still one of the smartest people I know, not because he has an advanced degree, but because he’s just plain old common-sense smart. Growing up, if he didn’t know how to do something, he figured it out, usually on the fly, as there was no time to waste. He could do math in his head faster than I could plug numbers into a calculator, he was that kind of smart.
As a child, I followed this man everywhere around our farm. Wherever he was, whatever he was doing, I wanted to do it too. I remember one time coming in the house for lunch, I wasn’t old enough to go to school yet, and my Dad washing the grease off of his hands. I was actually mad because he could have grease on his hands, and I couldn’t. After all, I was a girl and he was a very traditional man…and he knew he’s have to report to my Mother if I came in the house covered in grease.
When I was in high school my Dad and I didn’t quite see eye to eye. Hard to believe since we’re so similar: stubborn, both think our way is the best way, both leaders…oh, maybe that was the problem. It’s hard to have two masculine energies (I am a woman who flows masculine if no one has picked that up about me yet) in charge at once.
My uncles stepped in as the men in my life I could actually hear for a few years as I grew up, and my Dad learned more about the second daughter he helped create. I was gifted (and I mean that) with three older brothers who were always glad to tell me what to do, and were super good at it, and I had a brother-in-law that I’ve known since I was 5, so he really just counts as another brother. In high school and still today, some of my closest friends are men. I have been fortunate in my life to be surrounded by strong men, and it served me well.
Being a woman who doesn’t always jive with other women, I really like guys. Men tend to be fairly clear on what is important to them, and rather straightforward. They don’t care if you gain 20 pounds or have more or less money/stuff than they do. They generally don’t talk behind each others back, nor are they the jealous type. With my guy friends, if I show up and have my sense of humor, can hold an intelligent conversation and/or act as goofy as they are, we’re all good together. I like guys, they’re easy.
I remember a girlfriend of mine getting married years ago, and she and her husband had the agreement that when they had kids, she would continue to work, and HE would stay home with the kids. This was 20 some years ago, and that was not such a popular notion at the time. He took crap from his friends about being a Mr. Mom. “Housewife”, they teased him constantly because men DO do that. Never fear, he totally got them back. Every time he’d be out on the pontoon in the middle of the day with the kids on a gorgeous summer day, or if we took them on a “fieldtrip” somewhere cool, he’d call his buddies at work and to see what they were up to, and let them know what he and the kids were doing. He took care of himself, and his friends really did support him.
My girlfriend, however, was sympathied by her friends and co-workers for having a husband that MADE her make money while he stayed home because of course, the roles “should have” been reversed. Despite the number of times she explained to people that this was a combined choice, many never really understood how that could be the truth. Sad, really.
The two of them have two daughters and a son. May I say, they have some of the smartest (academically and capability), most motivated, well rounded, confident, self-assured, successful kids I’ve ever known. Why? because they were raised primarily, by their Dad.
Studies show, without question, that when children are raised with their Dad as the predominant parent, they do indeed grow into more capable, confident, self-motivated adults. Why? Because men tend to let them mess up, try it and get hurt, figure it out without intervention, make a mess and clean it up again, way more often than women do. Not my words here ladies, its science, and studies.
I love it. I love that we’re creating a culture that is way more comfortable with stay at home Dads then it’s ever been. I love that we have well researched studies that demonstrate the positive effects on strong male role models on our kids. I love that men are getting more credit for being good dads, homemakers, nurturers, AND are more accepted for doing what traditionally, women have been credited with.
Do guys rule and women drool? Not even a little bit, but I love that when we allow our cultural expectation to expand, we all benefit. More men willing to stand tall when their wives are the bread winners means more kids get better relationships with their dads, but it also means more women are getting to take a more affirmative financial role, achieve higher positions in the work place and develop a greater ability to break down the traditional cultural roles of women, as well.
Ladies, we’re still behind in the workplace. Women still make less money for the same job. They still get promoted at less than half the rate of men, while at the same time, achieve more advanced degrees then men do. Things do not add up, so there is still more work to do.
My point is simply this. When we all honor each other, when we’re willing to let traditional views fall to the wayside and recreate our values and expectations based on the person, not their gender parts, We’re moving ahead! As we honor our sacred masculine in a way that says, we see men’s value in all aspects of life, not just the old ways, we’re moving ahead. When we honor our husbands, our Fathers, our brothers, our uncles, our sons for who they are, for who they desire to be, not who we think they should be, we’re moving ahead.
Its about progress, not perfection. There’s work to do. I’m not ignorant, nor in denial. I just believe we’ll get further working together, then pointing fingers. I simply see there is sacred masculine making its way into and through our planet, and we’d be wise to cultivate it. We need its strength, its clarity, its direction and its power.
Its beautiful, and we’re surrounded by opportunities to see it at it’s best, if we’re willing to focus on it.
Let’s focus on it. Thank your husband, your Dad, your brothers, sons, Uncles, co-workers, friends, etc. thank those who walk their masculine forward in a way that creates space for the sacred feminine. Not because some rule says they have to, but for those who do so because they’re just showing up being the version of themselves that honors their Spirit.
We’re in this together. So, remember to love and respect what that sacred masculine does for all of us.
Happy Father’s Day!