For the love of a woman, or a girl
I remember sitting in a conference hosted by Mark Gungar, who is a pastor/comedian/speaker whose main focus is talking about men’s brains and women’s brains and how we interact because of our wiring. He’s hilarious and mostly on point with his messages. I also remember sitting in this particular conference listening to him talk about how women want to be “chosen” by a man. That as women our entire makeup, what attracts us to men, is being “chosen.” What I remember mostly about this was how it totally pissed me off. Who is this guy, like what a guy thing to say, that women are so weak and frail and dependent that we go through life waiting to find some man who will “choose us”… as I sat I recognized that some of what made me angry about his words, was the sting of truth.
Fast forward years and I am sitting with a female client talking about this one love of her life. The one that made her let go of all of her reservations and pour herself fully and completely into him. The one that she felt so totally and deeply connected to as he let her give all of herself to him.. Meanwhile, she is in love and has a life with a man who is not this same man. She has a life with a man who loves her deeply, and asks nothing from her but to love and respect him….
Her Spirit spoke.
Her Spirit talked about how in the past she was a girl who wanted to pour in all that she was and all that she had inside of herself. They showed her past love as a boy who showered in her giving, and the unbridled giving of many other women, as their love and energy ran down the drain of his shower. He wasted it. Always needing more and more and allowing women in his life to continue to pour and pour and pour into him while he wasted it letting run down the drain. This left them feeling indebted to him, infatuated with him because they could give everything they had to him, and he simply let them, and took more.
Oh, to be loved by a man. Then her Spirit talked and showed her current love relationship. They showed him sharing a water bottle with her as they walked the trail of life. Never taking too much as to deprive her, but still allowing himself what he needed as well. Equal. They showed him holding space for her greatness without fear, or guilt or jealousy, simply bathing (tub, not shower) in her love and the gifts she brought to their life. He was not wasteful with her resources (her love).
As a girl she longed to give all and everything she had inside of herself and so she had found someone who let her, over and over, wasting hers and others love and gifts. As a woman she was loved by someone who valued what she brought, asked nothing of her but what she can give, and walked by her side.
Spirit talked about the Divine Feminine and Masculine, and how her current love represented the Divine masculine; he took care of her, of their home, he sought ways to better their lives for the two of them. They talked about her Divine Feminine as upleveling beyond what the young girl in her knew to a love that was sustainable… it could last because it never took more than it gave. The question became, could she step into a sustainable love of a woman to a man?
Powerful.
She and I were both quiet for a few minutes after Spirit finished, somewhat in awe of what they had shared. It shifted everything and how we saw love in this new age.
Perhaps Mr. Gungor was right in the old ways of women and men, and perhaps there is space for all of us to consider how we are living in love. Are we loving as men and women, or as boys and girls who waste our love energy? Great question.
The answer is ongoing, continuing as we shift and grow and evolve and see ourselves and our partners in a new light.
Let us honor our men and our women. Let’s choose that.
Forever the journey, Anne