She is brilliant, beautiful, talented, driven and filled with purpose and an unmistakable sense that she is here for something special…she’s right. Her Spirit is clear about that.
Recently she left a job that while it pays her bills, is also time consuming enough to be a block for her moving into all of the amazing things she wants to use her time and talents to accomplish. It is SO HARD sometimes when we are faced with that dilemma when we know what we want and what we are here to do, and the very planetary demands of money and paying bills. MANY of us are, and have been, there, and for her, she is doing it as an independent single woman.
We talked together about her very loving and supportive parents and their million questions about how she was going to pay her bills and the eye rolling that came with her explaining her plans and a part time job to pay bills while she worked her way into her dreams. Oof, that’s hard. The people who love us want us to be safe, and comfortable and they want to be safe and comfortable which means often the only version of how life gets done is the one that they have adopted for themselves. No judgement, this is very human of them and so, SO common. She has been met by this well intended negativity at multiple turns. The idea of being a young entrepreneur with nothing but a dream and a huge willingness to hustle doesn’t seem like much to live on.
A while back I was talking with another older (my age) woman and she asked me a “how-did-you-know-you-could…” series of questions. I laughed and gave her a response that a good friend of mine used to describe how he made it through his Doctorate program, “I was too dumb to know I couldn’t.”
Amen.
So, my client and I talked and worked through some limiting beliefs and old values that actually were not hers anyway. We talked about “cultural conditioning” and picked through whose storyline she was living by in her autopilot, etc. etc. As we talked her Spirit stepped in with an image of her finding her way from a small village into the woods, and when emerging on the other side, she found herself in what looked like a circus with all of the colors and costumes and performers all laughing and doing what they loved. They were living the life that they had wanted for themselves. As she stepped into the midst of it she realized that all of these people were like HER. Spirit spoke, “you only feel abnormal because you are surrounded by people who are not like you. Imagine your next tribe. You are in the discomfort of the space in between, and once you arrive you will be surrounded by those whose normal is your normal.” It’s true! When you are the only one in your circle who is doing life a particular way it is so easy to receive the message that YOU are the weird one who doesn’t understand how “it” (whatever that IT is at the moment) works. But take two steps into a new tribe of people who are doing what you dream of; living a creative, self directed, mastering their specific craft, successful life and suddenly, you are normal. When you are surrounded by hard working intentional people bringing their hustle to their passion, you are normal. When you operate with a dream and conviction to achieve it, when you are immersed in an environment filled with people who share the comfort of owning their own success then those behaviors become the standards that that tribe lives by. Not only are you normal, but the expectations of you fully stepping in and BEing your dreams on an exemplary level is a constant. There, you find comfort in the norm.
It is said that we all become the midline of the 5 people we spend most of our time with. My friends, choose wisely.
If your tribe doesn’t fit, it doesn’t mean you can’t ever spend time in that village, you just don’t LIVE there.
Find the commonality of your tribe. Seek with intention people who may dream different dreams certainly, but the expectations of how those dreams materialize in this world, and who you are in that manifestation, are similar. If you want to feel normal, surround yourself with people who live in this world like you do.
We parted ways with her having a renewed sense of being on the right track and knowing she is indeed meant for her big dreams. She also sees the concern that comes from those who see life differently, not wrong or right, just differently, is formed in love, not judgment. Those who love her want her happiness and success, their ideas of how she achieves that are just very varied from her own.
Remember, how you achieve your dreams is right for YOU, and there are always others who have values, beliefs and mindsets that are similar to yours. When you are surrounded by those weirdos, you too will feel normal.
Find your tribe.
Forever the journey, Anne