“I know I am changing…I just don’t know what that will mean,” he said, in almost a whisper that told me everything about the fear he held inside of him as to what his newfound Spirit connection would ask him to do with his ‘nice life’.
Oof, yep, raise your hand if you have been there, and my hand is way up.
My life is about helping people discover the truths they hold inside of themselves that their conditioning, their experiences, and their lives have taught them to bury, sometimes very deeply. I have seen this scenario thousands of times, and the gravity of it is never lost on me.
The deeper we step into our Spirit nature, the more the layers of falsehood and the masks we have taken on to cope and adapt, fall away. While this sounds amazing and authentic and #livelaughlove, this work can be downright hard.
This beautiful man, sitting in front of me, face in pain mixed with confusion and a dash of fear, reminds me fully – the depth of “shit just got real” can often be part of our Spiritual and personal journey. Letting go isn’t always simple, easy, or graceful, and is rarely embraced lovingly by others in our lives…no wonder it scares the hell out of us.
As his Spirit spoke to him, “Rest, let go, you are so loved by us, we bring you no harm”, he literally broke into tears. In the end it wasn’t the fear of what Spirit was going to ask him to change, it was his realization that he already knew what needed to change. The fear and the emotion were simply him admitting inside of himself knowing he couldn’t ignore it any longer.
The big ah-ha was not the WHAT of his changes, it was the fact that he had known all along what was making him sad, mad, depressed, disconnected, and uninterested in his life, and now, the truth of it crashed down on him like a wall of bricks.
Slowly he looked up, wiped his tears, and said, “Shit…now what”.
Until that moment, I was largely silent, he was doing his work inside of himself on his own, I simply held a safe space for him to get clear and honest with himself.
Again, his Spirit spoke through me, “Sit. Rest. There is no hurry. Be still and you will know again”.
Over time his journey has been amazing. He made hard decisions that affected a lot of people in his life; his relationship, career, his health (on every level) changed, and he moved across the country to follow his dreams. A couple of years later, there was a light in him I hadn’t seen but knew was there wanting to shine. It’s not all roses and unicorn farts, it is still a journey of finding himself and what he loves and filling his Soul, AND pays his bills because this is the human realm. The difference now is that he is ignited within that journey. He is living fully as a part of it willing to discover who he is in his own life. It is beautiful!
Change takes courage, it is not all fun and rah, rah go get it. There are trials and challenges and sometimes changes we know we need to make and it’s scary as shit!
No one gives us permission to go rogue in our lives, that is NOT a cultural norm. Social media defines for us what things like ‘authenticity’ and #bestlife are supposed to look like…yeah, sure. That’s cute.
To truly embrace your true self in this journey of life sometimes means making bold moves that you know inside that you can’t stand to NOT make, and others may not like or support, but make them anyway. Love yourself enough to recognize what your Spirit is shifting you towards. That voice, that knowing, is ever-present. It creates the nudges, the knowing, the intuitive hits even when we are not looking for them, or sometimes, even wanting them. Know that your Spirit loves you, and will never bring you harm…but it may bring you change.
Forever the journey, Anne