Recently I have been practicing developing a new habit. My new habit is that I am listening to two to three inspirational or motivational podcasts per week. I know most of you would be surprised to know I do not normally listen to those things. Why? Because I spend my work life listening and being those motivational inspirational messages for others, and in my free time, I listen to…wait for it and sit down…murder podcasts. It’s true, and it’s a conversation for another time. For now, please know I have always loved abnormal psychology, it’s fascinating to me.
So, we’re building a new habit, two to three per week. Enough, but not too much. Recently I was listening to a podcast that interviewed Molly Fletcher. Molly is one of the first really successful female sports managers and promoters. She has been leaning on the fence in professional sports for a couple of decades putting herself in conversations and contracts formerly reserved for men only. More recently she is a keynote speaker and coach. She is an inspiration for sure.
During this interview podcast, she made a comment that stopped me in my tracks. “Courage comes from clarity”. Read that again, courage comes from clarity.
Here’s the rub. So often we hold back from doing things that scare us and for all sorts of fear reasons, we allow ourselves to believe. We excuse ourselves from doing daily habits like eating well exercising and meditating and all the things we “should” do because of all the excuses we give ourselves…me too. The fact is, it takes courage to make ourselves uncomfortable and do new things even when the gains are totally worth it! Why? Because our fear-mind is a bestie with our habit-mind they convolute together to convince us it is all ok to stay small and stay the same.
So, we avoid the discomfort of making or breaking habits, and we avoid the discomfort of asking for things we want, or trying something we haven’t done before, or putting ourselves out there and maybe feeling awkward or perhaps we’ll be embarrassed, or maybe someone or something will say “no”. And so on and so on and so on. Our habit-mind loves its sameness!
Courage comes from clarity. When we know why something is important to us, we are 70 percent more likely to go after it even if it makes us uncomfortable. When we know our ‘why’ about anything, we are much more inclined to do what it takes to get it. When we know why, the fear moves aside and the courage comes forward. The juice from the squeeze is more apparent and we can truly discern if the discomfort is worthwhile.
Sometimes the discomfort isn’t worth it. Sometimes our ‘why’ is about fitting in with others, or doing something because everyone else is so we think we “should” vs. doing something because it aligns with our goals, hopes, dreams, or value systems. When we truly understand what is the deeper motivation for our drives, we can indeed make clearer more determined choices.
My motivation for my new habit is to scale my practice in ways that have been scary to me because I don’t “know how”, and honestly because I am afraid of being laughed at, rejected, or both. I love the idea of a podcast. I’ve always wanted to write a book. I love public speaking. I really want to create more group endeavors so people can get to know other really cool people because I work with really cool people! All of this takes courage-based mindset shifts and so I am implementing tools that will help me shift my mindset to get where I want to go. And, I’m a scaredy cat when it comes to meeting new people, putting myself out there to strangers, or asking people to buy into my ideas. Yes, I have insecurities, and I’m tired of these particular ones. So, I am doing something about it, and it wasn’t until I sat down and asked myself WHY some of these things sound like fun and WHY some of them have seemed to live inside me for years. I had no idea they were really worth changing my mindset for…Now I know, and so do you.
I work every day with people helping them do the very same things. My Build Your Life program is designed around knowing your WHY in everything in your life so that you live and manifest in total alignment. The more clear we are about why we do what we do the more power we have to change it for the better. Left unchecked, the values behind our behavior totally run amuck. Because everything our habit-mind does is based on its belief that something is the way that it perceives it, it can only do things one way so we develop a wash, rinse, repeat program, which we call a habit. When we check in on the why, or the motivation that drives the value that dictates the behavior, we have the power to truly change, to be courageous, and do something different. Now, I’m not asking you to all become pro athletes, and yet, some of you may have that goal. But why? What I am saying is that if we want the courage it takes to do something different, knowing why we want it will absolutely help us make the changes we desire.
Why do you desire what you desire? What does it get you? How will your life/relationship/career/health, whatever it is, be better?
Get clear, so you can get courageous.
Forever the journey, Anne
Ps- For more information on my Build Your Life Journey, contact me today! There is nothing more powerful than learning about yourself, and how to take your life and build what you want. Your clarity and courage are just around the corner.