A shift of perspective – the lies our minds tell us as habit

A shift of perspective – the lies our minds tell us as habit

 

It smacked me midday, sitting in my office, doing this… writing. 

Writing typically takes me to an inner happy place that lets the rest of my wandering mind have fun and consider lots of things, come to ah-ha’s, etc. (what? Not everyone has multiple awareness of multiple conversations going on inside their head????? I know there are more of you!!!)

 

At any rate, I was working on some upcoming retreat content around core beliefs (it’s not what you think, trust me) when I heard the brakes squeal inside my mind. I had been living in a stressful high pressure inner mind/emotional state for most of my life. The pressure to “make it.” You know that state of existence where I no longer have worries and I spend my life skipping through the tulips singing, forever. You know, that life. The perfect one with no stress.

 

I was raised by people who taught me to “work hard,” and so I have. I have been a class A+ figure-it-out-er through my entire life. I can adapt, adjust, turn lemons into lemonade, etc. It’s a nice bundle of what my Mother would say “builds character.” What I didn’t get apparently was the off switch to all of the work hard, or to the belief that was embedded in it. That working hard had an assumed result. Work hard, so someday you won’t have to. I am a purpose and point driven mind. I constantly ask questions, I seek to understand everything in my path and those who love me will tell you I have a hard time just going along for the ride on things if I don’t understand what that is going to cause/create/ as an outcome. “WHY do you do it that way?” My husband has rolled his eyes a million times when hearing that come from my mouth. I need to understand.

 

So, when it abruptly occurred to me that I had been operating on a belief that I never stopped to ask myself what the result would be, I was shocked! And then even more surprised when I realized what my habit mind believed would be the outcome. I will work hard… and then what? Apparently, work hard, and then work harder, and harder and, you get this. It never occurred to me that my work hard mindset held a belief that I had never had a one on one conversation with. I didn’t realize my entire body was waiting for the “result,” work hard so eventually you will have made it, and you won’t have to do it anymore. Um, I think bullshit.

 

So, I ran myself through a process I just kind of made up on the spot and I think it might be of service to you. 

 

What is the inner story line? Belief? 

Ex. I need to work hard. (This is just mine, use YOURS. It can be related to anything in your life. Be thin, Be well known, Stay invisible, be strong, have perfect teeth, etc., etc., the list goes on, whatever it is for YOU.)

What is the fact? (What is the truth as it presents at this time?) 

Ex. I have worked hard and I have not gotten to the point where I no longer need to. (Again, use YOURS. What is a truth that you are able to recognize about your belief?)

 

What is the lie? 

Ex. IF I work hard and THEN someday I won’t have to. (This is the result part of the belief. Holding the belief makes you seek a result. IF this, THEN that. What is the believed result of the belief that is not true? (Understand the NOT TRUE is what keeps us pursuing the belief in the first place. Beliefs in which we achieve the unconscious result, do not result in any sadness, poor self esteem, etc.)

 

What is the truth/new belief? 

My example: some work, some play, some balance in my life lets me be happy. (I love what I do! I just want to worry less about how it’s never enough.) What feels right? What creates ease inside your body?

 

Result: What is the inner result of the new belief? What does it let you think, feel, believe, pursue, do? 

My example: I can work and enjoy my life at the exact same time. It is not one OR the other. I am not being naive or irresponsible when I let myself just let go of work and have fun. 

 

Take this process for what it is worth to you. Maybe most of you have your inner head on straight and are decades beyond having to work out your inner stuff. I am not. Clearly. But, one little ah-ha moment at a time, I am seeking to create a life that feels better in my soft body, and builds some ease in my mind. 

 

That makes the process well worth it.

 

Forever the journey, Anne

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