A River runs through it- contemplating commitment to marriage
I am sitting on the edge of the Kicking Horse river in a beautiful little mountain town called the Golden British Columbia. Clarence and I are here as part of a two week trip to celebrate our 10th anniversary.
Today is August 21, 2025. It is my parents 69th wedding anniversary. As I sit here getting lost and watching the flow of a glacial river it occurs to me how much it mimics the life of marriage commitment; I look at the surface of the water, its beauty, the crystalline blue of its glacial silt, and think of the surface of relationships we show to the world. What does it look like from the outside?
I noticed the ripples and the seeming texture of the surface of the water and it reminds me of the personalities of people involved in relationships; how it drives the twists and the turns, and the deeper substance of what is happening below, as it is the depth that creates the movement on the surface. As I look down river, I see the areas where the water butts up against the rocks and creates ripples and waves- obstacles that we have to move around and navigate or an automatic part of life, and when I think back on many of them, while challenging, I wouldn’t live without them. They are the stories, the memories, the very fabric of our existence together.
It occurs to me that the rocks, the branches, the downed trees are what we now claim as making memories.They are our stories that we share and tell around the dining table and recount to one another over and over again. This morning Clarence and I, sitting in the camper, talked about our three biggest highlights of our marriage relationship. Some were the same for each of us, others were very different and definitely highlighted the uniqueness, not just of our personalities, but of our values and where we find meaning in life. Again, some are the same, but also different as we are not the same human being. We are two different human beings sharing one relationship.
I think of my parents today celebrating their 69th wedding anniversary. Their commitment, their ability to navigate the rocks and the down trees and what can’t be seen under the surface of the water spanning almost 7 decades. Think about that… nearly 70 years of commitment of navigating the rocks and the downed trees and the branches and the twist and the turns and new views. It occurs to me that the commitment of marriage is like the river; it carries us. It drives us. Sometimes it gives us the substance of being able to navigate or push against its current, but ultimately it’s where we find our peace in the flow.
I look forward to the next 10 years of what life will bring with my husband. I am grateful for the incredible example of dedication I have had with my parents’ marriage. I know it has not always been easy, but that my friends, is commitment. It is agreeing to hit the rocks together, knowing that we will twist different directions, but ultimately find our way back together in the flow.
So for today, I encourage you to consider the people you have made life commitments to, be they spouses, significant others, or ride or die friends, and remind yourself how they make navigating the stream so much more interesting.
Forever the journey, Anne