Whether you’ve been counting down to Christmas since July, or you’re a “I’ll take my holidays one at a time thank you” person, as I am, its time to start gearing up as we are indeed in full holiday swing. For many people the holidays equate to fun, family and festivities, for others, they’re a time of uncontrollable stress, pressure and anxiety. This year, no matter which camp you’re in, I want to introduce you to the importance of knowing your ‘WHY”.
Simply put, knowing your holiday WHY isn’t about knowing your priorities, it’s about knowing what’s behind your priorities. We give our attention and our energy to the things that are important to us, but when we hit a time, like the holiday season, where there are so many things we think are important, we need to really be clear on what’s of value to us, and what’s just busy-ness.
So, how do we gain that every important clarity? Make a list. Seriously, the easiest, fastest way to realign to what’s truly driving you, is to write it down. We avoid doing this because it seems too time consuming. The fact is, this simple exercise will actually save you time. all that time you spend spinning trying to think of and remember all that stuff that you NEED TO DO, that you really don’t need to do. The time we waste believing we must attend every party, every event our friends, neighbors, school group is attending. That “overboard” is barely good enough to cut it. Yeah, let’s cut that crap, right out.
Back to the list. Write a list of all the things/people that are most important to you in your life. From that list, pick your top 5. Ask yourself “WHY” those things/people are so important to you. From there, ask yourself what do you want those people, events, things to know about how you feel? What message are you trying to send? DO THIS STEP, ITS IMPORTANT. Again, for some of you, you’re already thinking this is a waste of your time. it isn’t. don’t let your ego mind keep you in the habitual trap. Why is “time with family” so important? Why are “the kids” at the top of your list? And why is “the school benefit” on the list right next to your family?? On that list, where are you? Let me be clear, this is not another “make time for yourself” lecture. I have friends, family, guests, work, parties, charity events, hosting, attending. Etc. etc. just like everyone else, and if I didn’t sit down and look at my WHY, I’d end up stressed out and resentful by the end of the holiday season. Nope, not this girl. Not anymore.
I certainly remember years of that, until I realized I was doing myself the ultimate disservice. I was cheating myself out of loving the time of year that I really did love! i was so stressed with the get it done and what’s next, I wasn’t really present to the golden moments I was experiencing. I was “doing” but not “being” in my favorite moments.
that’s when I knew things had to change. So, I made the list, I sat and asked myself WHY certain things and people were important to me, and from that list, started pairing down to what was really driving me. Oh, its wasn’t all pretty, trust me. It’s hard to see yourself admitting that much of what I was doing was to make other people happy, or so others would think, or feel, a certain way about me, or so I was at the right places at the right times. I was working really hard to prove I was enough, I was doing things right, I had it together, when all I really wanted to say was, “I love you, this is a beautiful time of year and I want you to know how much you mean to me”. Clarity is so beautiful! Now, I write more cards and send more notes through out the year, not just at Christmas time. I make more time through out the year to get together for coffee, or dinner, sometimes via Zoom calls, with people far away from me. It works!!! And it accomplishes what I really want it to accomplish, the people who are important to me, know they’re important. Does that mean I see or talk to folks everyday or even every week? Heck no!! But I make time way more often, and I no longer try to squeeze everything in during the already busiest time of the year. It’s a whole year folks, not just two months!! The people I’m close to, the ones highest on that list, those are the folks who get my time and attention at the holidays. Yes, I still attend parties, charity events, social engagements, we just attend the ones that are really important to us, and we’ve let the rest go. Sometimes it’s attending this event one year, but not the next, so we have time to do different things, with different people. Some things we do like clockwork every year because we absolutely LOVE THEM! We attend, we host, we play. And mostly, I focus on the play. I want my holiday to be joyful, I want to be present, I want the message of “I love you, and you’re important to me” to ring through all that I do.
Take that top 5 and get crystal clear on your WHY. focus your time, and your energy on delivering the message, the true WHY’ that you want to be delivering. Let the rest go. When you’re doing what you love because you love it, and its meaningful, THAT will fill your cup. You’ll never miss what you’re missing, because you won’t’ really be missing anything at all! Crazy, and true!
Give yourself, and the people you love, the gift of your true presence. Be there, be attentive, enjoy the time, make the memories. That’s what it really about.
Live your WHY.
Love, light and blessings Galore.