The powerful layers of what we call “healing”
We were lovingly deep into a conversation about all that her physical body has taken her through the past years, when I asked her a question.
“What lessons have been the most impactful through this journey?”
You see, this incredibly brave and powerful soul has been through the ringer the past years: cancer, heart issues, autoimmune stuff that triggered aches and pains that were almost disabling, all of this creating weight gain that made everything worse. When I say it’s been “a lot”, I mean A LOT. And here she is stepping into a totally new version of herself: cancer free, healthy heart, weight managed, autoimmune managed, and brand new lease on life, and she is ready for it!! She’s earned it, for sure.
I listened intently to her as she answered the question; “ I learned boundaries. I learned to respect myself and what I know.” “I learned to stop people pleasing and to take care of myself even when others don’t like it…” she paused… “I learned to love myself”.
I sat in awe.
And then I repeated to her what I heard her say, and finished it with a simple statement that made us both stop and let it sink in.
“Do you realize that none of the things that have been taken away from these experiences have anything to do with your physical body??”
She paused, a confused look on her face as she thought about it, and then the most beautiful smile made its way onto her face.
“Oh my gosh, I never even noticed that,” she said almost in a whisper. Like if she had said it at full volume it would have chased the magnitude of it away.
As I asked her more she talked about her body and the physical aspects of nausea, exhaustion, pain, fatigue, brain fog, the list went on, and then talked about the mental and emotional symptoms she experienced as well; the fear, the anxiety, the hopelessness, wanting to sit and cry for days, or just “quit.” She talked about times when she felt like no one understood or really was even listening to her, and how hard it was to feel so alone, even when she was surrounded by people who loved her.
And then she talked again about the lessons she learned about ‘herself,’ and how her physical experience had led her into a place of greater wisdom about herself and her own needs.
We don’t often talk about that part.
The wisdom.
She learned that choosing herself did not mean sacrificing someone else. That resting when she needed it, saying “no” when her body couldn’t DO anymore, or she simply didn’t have a “want to” in her anymore, was totally ok and people would still love her. That the ones who didn’t, really didn’t deserve to be in her life anyway and they simply proved it to her. That healthy boundaries, learning to let go of what she couldn’t control in others, serves everyone for the better, not just her. The list of lessons goes on and on, and will continue to do so over time.
Healing takes place on a multitude of levels and oftentimes one part of us in dis-ease initiates healing in another part or component of ourselves. These can be gifts and without asking ourselves simple and powerful questions of reflection, the deepening layers of healing can be totally missed. AND, when we heal one part of us, every other component of us can be capable of functioning at a higher and healthier level as well. As human beings, we are so incredible.
As our conversation ended the thing that stuck with me, and still today, was that as she experienced all of the physical trials, it was her inner essence that led her to heal so many other unseen parts of herself as well, and those were the things that have made the greatest impact for her.
I am still sitting in awe.
Forever the journey, Anne