I was recently in Duluth, staying at a client’s home, which is a pure gift to me. While there she passed on a book for me to read, a series of essays by Brian Doyle called “One Long River of Song.” It is life-changingly beautiful; profound, poetic, deep and so thought provoking. His words make me want to stop…just stop and be in the nothingness of the stopping. This book calls my inner being to recede, to sit and connect in the nothingness that is the everything of this human experience. The words draw me to pause, and to notice deeply. While reading this particular essay it brought me to an awareness of how often I am busily chasing things of substance and meaning in my life; joy, inner peace, deep meaningful connection, comradery, truth, honesty, sharing and being surrounded by beauty, while I am passing it by in the moments of stillness in my own life.
When I stop in my world it’s all there, as I was sitting in my chair Sunday morning, snow falling, in a quiet house as everyone was still asleep, I had just gotten back from a walk in the woods and poured my morning cup of coffee, journal and pen in hand, it becomes unmistakable to me.
So much of what I desire in my life is there when I stop moving, when I stop chasing from one thing to another, and just sink into this moment. In an instant, a mere breath, I am sitting within myself and there I find it; the inner peace, deep meaningful connection to myself, truth, honesty, sharing, surrounded by incredible beauty, and joy.
Brian Doyle writes about his own journey with this awareness by sitting in the dark listening to his children sleeping. About bringing awareness to what we give our conscious awareness to, which too often is distraction; jobs, making money, being seen or known or relevant, running, chasing somethings that we believe we will get to by continuing to chase and run…meanwhile, we are missing the very things we want by not recognizing where they truly live…in the depths of our awareness. So much of what we believe we will find someday out there, is waiting for us to stop and recognize it. It is running right past the person you are looking for in a crowd because you’re seeing the masses but nothing specific.
For today I ask you. Stop. Ask yourself; What am I looking to experience in my life? What gives me meaning and fulfillment? Then, be willing to stop and be quiet, and recognize where your desires may be sitting peacefully, just waiting for you to notice.
Forever the journey, Anne