Fall is my favorite season. All things pumpkin and apple and abundance of the harvest. It’s fabulous.
One of the things I love most about my garden is the time I can be lost in my thoughts. It’s like a rare kind of mindfulness therapy as not very often so I just get to be and think about what I’m thinking about. It’s like the outer me walking up to the inner me, handing her a coffee with a “Hey. How have you been?”
We have been on our military family journey for several months now and learning the gift of non-attachment in the plans of what is what and when are constantly changing, without any ability for us to control any of it.
Finally, my son graduated from a school, got his first set of duty orders and was given leave to head home. Hurray! In the midst of that our Sailor decided to get engaged and may quite possibly be married by the time you read this. Holy s—t! As a mom, I felt like I got tossed in the dryer and turned on high heat! Up, down, all around.
It occurred to me this day in the garden that not only are the seasons of the year changing but my season as a Mom is changing as well. My son is no longer my baby (well, he ALWAYS be my baby because he’s mine) and is now a man. Instead of being committed to his Mom and Dad he’s committed to the US Navy and a beautiful woman named Hannah. His life is no longer hanging with his friends but hanging out maintaining a multi billion dollar aircraft carrier. Instead of making family dinner he’s creating his own family as him and his wife. I just said wife in correlation to my son – this says it all!
His life is now “theirs” and not “ours”. The people he goes to for questions and answers are not his parents anymore and nothing says adulting like marriage and living across the country. It’s a big deal!
While I will always be his Mom, my time of mothering is in its fall. It’s fading and falling away.
With every ending there is a new beginning.
With this new season brings another level and layer of freedoms for myself. Someone else is now taking the baton on keeping track of my sons life and belong him run it. I get to sit back and really see what is important to him as he creates this new life for himself with his partner. By not being in the middle of it, I get to bring awareness from the observation seats. There is magic I’m not in the midst of. There are blessings in being able to swoop in, love them up and walk out. There is gift in being able to say, “ totally up to you!” and let myself give them all the control. My job is to love, support, encourage and celebrate. To lift up in the tough stuff but still know that it’s not mine to do. Thank you!
While there are aspects of being a hands-on mom that I miss, mostly I’m ready. God’s grace will watch over them and carry them into their future, and do the same for me and my husband.
We can walk our paths side by side, like adults. There is true abundance in this.
While it’s a change of seasons, the seasons are designed to change. It’s what is meant to be. We are never stagnant. Nothing is forever, nor is it intended to be. The good stuff is always developing and showing itself in these new seasons. Resistance takes us out of the gifts of each season. Acceptance allows us to relish goodness and delight in abundance.
Tucking my garden in for the season I’m already looking forward to what I can create next year. Life is about cycling from one season to another knowing they are never the same year to year. We grow, we evolve, we advance. Each day, each season is unique to itself.
The blessing is in embracing the changes.
Forever the journey,
Anne